I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
