I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize