What did we do last night that was yellow?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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