OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Of course I have a pirate flag
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