Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
