We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
