Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
