hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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