white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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