she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
