He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
