i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
