It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
