Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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