Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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