Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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