I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Non-Jews are for practice
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
