Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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