Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
