what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
