how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
