wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we're so committed to being not committed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
