I just made out with a guy for $7.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
