so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
