i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
