My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
