so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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