How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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