Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize