You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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