Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
