is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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