he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize