So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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