My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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