Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
