Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
