Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
