Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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