How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
