Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
