I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
