Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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