He felt like a one man threesome
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
