Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
