There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
