well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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