I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
