discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
