So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
