No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
