My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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