Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
