Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
