In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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