we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
