omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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