If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
