Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
