Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
