Michael Bay diarrhea
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
